I think everyone needs a five-year plan. Something to plan for, something to dream about, a general outline to guide your current plans. Something to daydream about when your current life just seems utterly off-course.

Lately, mine seems to center around living in Portland or the general vicinity. Too often I find myself browsing real estate listings, lusting over homes I couldn’t possibly afford and cursing my expensive taste. Oohing and aahing over professional-grade kitchens, bedrooms with slanted ceilings, sunny backyards that could easily be turned into gardens, sunrooms where I could grow citrus and avocado trees indoors.

Sometimes I really do think it’s a shame that it’s taken me this long to have any real conception of what I actually want to do with my life. Even now, some of the details are fuzzy. I don’t have any real idea of what a possible career for me would be — I still want to model, write, direct and perform but that’s really not detailed enough to make it obtainable. I suppose I could manage to stay in my current industry without losing my will to continue existing on this planet but it’s really not something that I want to do with the rest of my life. I just… I have all of these snapshots of what I want my life to look and feel like — a circle of interesting, thoughtful, artistically-inclined friends, time to learn photography and everything else that I never seem to find time for, camping at music festivals during the summer and weeks spent exploring various states, long road trips with Jesse, one day maybe riding the rails through Europe, backpacking all over the world, some sort of life that allows me to explore everything I’m interested in… one that doesn’t leave me with time wasted.

I don’t know if we’ll ever make it there. I don’t know if I really know how to craft a life. Maybe that’s what I’m supposed to be figuring out right now. Any suggestions, oh gentle readers who are ever-so-much-smarter than me?

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