Getting excited for our little trip to Death Valley!  I need to make sure all of our water bottles are filled and bring a few extra.  I also need to make some hummus and go shopping for some nibbles while we’re out there.  I think we’re at least going to keep open minds about the prospect of staying over night.  I actually think it might be fun to get out of the apartment for a night, just have some time alone.  I’ve been reading through both of my camera manuals, trying to make sure I make the most out of all of these opportunities. 

I have wedding-details to contemplate!  Of course, they’re details that happen to make me a teeny-tiny bit sad. 

Yes, it’s time to contemplate the guest list!  I guess you never really realize how few friends you have until you sit down and try to write out the guest list.  It’s funny, in a sad sort of way.  I’ve been so many places in my life, met so many people and yet I’ve stayed in touch with so few of them.  It’s awkward though, slowly watching the threads thin until they’re ready to give way.  Your lives move in drastically different directions and the words dry up, the foundation cracking and splintering.  At least I have lots of fabulous family and a few good friends.

I keep having little ideas here and there, I think it will be interesting to see if they’re all put together.  I’d like birds to be featured somehow, particularly song birds.  Something like this maybe, with the little birds scattered in unexpected little places.  And a small dyed crinoline for a peek of colour under the dress.  Bright shoes and Jesse in custom Converse!  Lots of fun indie-pop and other great music — I’d kind of like to burn mix CDs of my music and of Jesse’s music to give to our guests, just in case they’re interested, but I can’t decide yet.  Of course, being a colour-nut, deciding on colours is driving me INSANE.  We could do coral and grey, or wait, lavender and grey!  Or we could do a crisp ivory with a beautiful bright yellow and sprigs of green.  We could do teal with gold accents or a lovely Provencale palette.  Of course, me being me, this is what I choose to focus on, rather than the big things like setting a specific date, worrying about the venue.  I like all the details, the tiny things that you barely notice unless they’re missing or utterly fabulous (of course, I’m leaning towards the latter)!  And then there are the indulgences, things that I’m trying so hard to talk myself out of, to not even think about them.  Oh, the possibility of a photobooth, a photographer who works with lomographic cameras as well as digital who will help us with ideas of fun, quirky, elegant shots to take, a make-up artist so I don’t have to do my own, a few custom cocktails so no one gets it in their head to even try doing shots, tooth-whitening! 

I WISH I was getting more ideas from Jesse as I’m getting a little bit sick of the “Oh, it’s YOUR day, you do what YOU want” attitude that I keep coming up against.  It’s not just MY day.  It’s his as well.  But really, it’s all for our guests.  If the day was JUST for us, we’d go to the courthouse and maybe grab some sushi for dinner.  In my mind, weddings are more about celebrating the relationships we’ve created in our lives and inviting all of those people to share in a new relationship with you.   I’m hoping that once we get more of the basics sketched out he’ll think of more things that are important to him.  Then again, maybe I scared him off by telling him I’d prefer he not dress like the Masked Superstar or pretend to be assassinated after the ceremony.  I didn’t think those vetoes were unreasonably but who knows!

This little obsession is ridiculous, really.  You would think that I’d already gone through this phase at some point in my life.  I just don’t think it ever really occured to me that at some point in my life, I would get married.  That was what other people did, not me.  Oh, how things change! 
And here’s where I have to end this.  Happy New Years, everyone!  2008 was pretty amazing on my end, full of change and new chances.  Here’s to a 2009 full of tough decisions, new experiences, personal growth and a whole lot of fun!  Oh, and hopefully for me?  A kitty or two!  I can’t wait!