Might I take a moment of your time to be a little bit cranky about something? If not, stop reading, because I fully intend to be a little bit cranky about hair today.
Let’s ignore the fact that I was (and am), apparently, the weird-face champion. If possible, let’s also ignore the fact that I am one of those people who is totally recognizable from their little kid photos.
One more! Awwww, look at little-Alicia, she was SO cute. What on earth happened? WHERE DID YOU GO AND WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME HERE?
Anyway, can we just agree that, as a kid, I had awesome hair? Let’s agree because it’s true — all soft and shiny with gorgeous curls.
This is basically what it looks like now — a tiny bit longer, a tiny bit lighter. I have yet to download a picture off my new camera as I haven’t loaded the new software. Hair, seriously! Why have you forsaken me? We used to LOVE each other. We used to have so much fun together! Remember when I dyed you teal and purple? Remember all the times Morgan and I would stay up late at night, drinking and playing with our hair? Remember the luscious curls Troy used to be able to tease out of you? I remember and I mourn our past relationship.
See, hair, if you could just decide WHAT, exactly, you want to be, we could get along so much better. I would be able to figure out what to do with you if you would decide whether you want to be wavy, curly or straight. If I could tell whether I was going to wake up with a huge snarl at the base of my neck or if you’d be silky soft. If you were going to fall flat against my scalp or bounce up in an attempt at world domination. What’s going on, hair? Do you need some prozac? Should we go out for drinks and get wasted in an attempt to solve your mood crisis? Do I just need to baby you more? Weekly coconut oil masks? Should I just chop you all off and start over again even though the idea of me with a pixie cut sounds dreadful?
Oh, and because I am officially entering Casey’s contest (which, if I win would bump me up to the front of the line at Hair Thursday AND give me money to do something fabulous with my hair), here are pictures of me with horrible hair and me with awesome hair.
This is from the summer that I spent out in LA taking film classes. Apparently I felt the need to be blonde and have SERIOUSLY wispy hair. I’m sure I asked my stylist for that so I’m not blaming him at all. But really, half of my hair must have thinned out. And blonde with nearly black eyebrows?
The next is where I really get to embarass myself. I’m even hiding my face in shame in the pictures! If we can ignore the fact that I dressed horribly in high school, let’s look at that colour. I’ll admit that it looked awesome but the cut was awful and I don’t even want to think about the amount of bleach required to get my hair light enough to take those colours. Oh hair, now I’m starting to realize why you just can’t trust me anymore.
As a bonus, here’s an awful scan of a picture of my awkward phase. There aren’t many lying around and for good reason. I was a chubby 12 year old with awful hair. For my first professional haircut, I had been given something resembling a “Rachel”. Of course you all remember those. And bangs. And let’s remember that I was living in Hong Kong and not using any products. I was a frizzy, fluffy mess until I was about 16. Look at that strong middle-part, those awful layers and that puffball at my forehead! Oh honey child, don’t worry, it’s going to get better one day.
Now we get to the awesome. This is from the last photoshoot I did for Fringes Salon back in Omaha. As much as I hate how fat my face looks (honestly, why do girls with squarish faces always think they look fat? Rationally I know that it’s just angular and wider than a long face would be). If I had the skill I would do this with my hair every single morning. I love the colour and the curls are just perfect. I sort of wish I had my fringe in that shot but it wouldn’t have worked with the theme of the shoot.
I’m not actually sure why I like this one so much, but I think the waves are actually behaving and it’s so beautifully shiny. Again, if I could only get it to do this every single day!
daintier, smarter, better dressed 
13 comments
Comments feed for this article
July 9, 2008 at 2:27 pm
sarawr
I kind of… like the blonde-and-wispy one, although that particular shade of blonde is… well, it’s unique! (Uh, now might be a good time to say something like OMG YOU’RE SO PRETTY! Yep.) Now I have the urge to chop my hair off again, because my own short-and-wispy cut was so much fun! And so flattering! And so not… like it is now, which is kind of awful and leads to many frizzy “I’m growing out my hair and it looks terrible” ponytails! Hmm.
July 9, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Alicia
Let’s just say that it didn’t start out that shade of blonde. But, my hair has this awful habit of bleaching itself out in the sun. It probably started out at least 3 steps darker than that which was a lot more flattering.
Also, *hides* but thank you. I haven’t felt particularly pretty lately. More like “I r bugeyed alien and am going bald OMG YAY” but that’s a story for another day.
CHOP IT OFF. Totally. You with short hair is seriously cute. But the whole growing-out stage is why I am agonizing over this.
July 9, 2008 at 3:29 pm
scruffy
um.
I think lots of the agony here is arising from making the visual importance of hair so primary that it overwhelms the other importances. My most vivid memory of your hair, Alicia, is of sitting at the dining room table, of you bending over me to say good morning and your hair touching my shoulders. I will say, though, that the frizzy-blonde LA picture of you is the one in my e-mail address book.
As for you, ‘rawr, speaking as the first male who saw you with that short haircut — yes, I think you should do it again, because your hair really short is as cute as it is really long, but you know better than anyone how long it takes to manage it when it’s long. Right after you cut your hair you kept saying that you felt absolutely liberated.
And having done that much thinking about you and your hair, I wish you were both here, preferably together.
July 9, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Alicia
I think my agony over my hair is that I want more than a haircut. I want my hair to be so fabulous that it erases all of my other issues with myself and my appearance. I want my hair to basically be the equivalent of the years of good, productive therapy that I never want to go through. I want my hair to help me complete the mental journey from ugly duckling to beautiful swan.
And a haircut can’t do that. I know, I know. It’s just not possible. But, since I can’t have that, I would like a haircut that will come as close as possible which is why I am agonizing.
July 9, 2008 at 7:02 pm
sarawr
Dude, Alicia, I totally know what you mean. My last haircut didn’t do all that, but it came damn close — I felt abuot 500% cuter and more confident when I had it. Now I am back to feeling a) shleppy, b) fat, and c) out-of-touch. I miss my supercute, I’m-so-hip, self-esteem-repairing cut! And it’s kind of sad that I expect my hair to do that for me. Sigh.
I bet with Whoorl styling you, though, YOUR hair will do that. :P
Kip, I wasn’t talking about the cut I got in CA (which was short, but not wispy — and cute, but not much fun). I was referring to the cut I got last… August? I think — in any case, the one Shae prodded me into. I loved it, and if I ever have $25 again in my life I’ll probably get it again. Short and wispy is tons of fun.
July 9, 2008 at 7:04 pm
sarawr
Not to mega-comment or anything, but the more I think about you with a sleek, Hepburn-style pixie cut, the more I think I love it. Hmmm.
July 9, 2008 at 10:42 pm
scruffy
And it’s kind of sad that I expect my hair to do that for me.
[thunderstruck] you have something that quick and cheap that will accomplish that for you, and you’re sad? that’s not sad, it’s brilliant. I should send you the $25, except you’d spend it on groceries.
and I totally agree about lee-sha’s inner pixie. Tinkerbell by way of Derrida.
July 9, 2008 at 10:52 pm
stillscruffy
Not to mega-comment or anything, but ‘rawr, if this clip you got a ~year ago was so much fun, how come there weren’t pics? or was that just one of the times you were netless?
July 9, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Alicia
Ugh, oh God, I’m going to have to chop it off, aren’t I? Sara, between you and Jesse, the pressure’s almost unbearable. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to wait for Hair Thursday but I’ll try.
I don’t know. Short hair just scares me. I’m completely convinced that the only reason people don’t think my face is fat is that I always hide behind big, long hair. And you know how the longer a delusion exists, the harder it is to escape it? I totally do want to do something Audrey Hepburn or Natalie Portman-esque, maybe Keira in Domino but OMG the fear.
July 9, 2008 at 11:26 pm
sleepyscruffy
I totally do want to do something…Natalie Portman-esque.
big eyes, faintly hollow cheeks, hint of shagginess? yes oh yes ohgodyes.
July 10, 2008 at 6:42 am
sarawr
There were pictures, Kip. You even commented on the pictures. :P
They’re down now, because I deleted everything from bitterdiatribe in preparation for a WordPress install (… hah), but I’m pretty sure that post will jog your memory.
July 10, 2008 at 6:48 am
sarawr
Correction (oh hai! i’m in ur commentz, pretendin theyre chatz!): You did not comment on that entry, Kip, but I’m pretty sure you commented in email or elsewhere. I remember you saying something like, “Those pics were great, I forgot how cute short hair is on you.” So there!
July 10, 2008 at 8:27 am
moosh in indy. » You still have time for a Whoorlie do.
[…] Alicia from Red Doll Shoes […]