I’ve received a request to write a post that I didn’t think I would ever have to write. The request asked me to write about my “dream wedding”. Now, let me preface this by saying that, until yesterday, I’d spent very little time thinking about weddings at all, except for my dream wedding that takes place either in Provence or on a cliff in Italy and includes a string quartet and possibly a hot air balloon. So, most of this is just stuff that I’ve only recently started thinking about.

Here’s the disclaimer for any parents, grand parents or starry eyed friends reading this: JESSE AND I HAVE NO PLANS TO GET MARRIED. THIS IS NOT A HINT. ALL IS PROCEEDING NORMALLY.

Being a girl, the first thing that comes to mind when I think of weddings is THE DRESS. I’ve always sort of dreaded the idea of finding a wedding dress as I hate the puffy, cupcake dresses, don’t particularly like corset-backs or strapless dresses and don’t want a crazy train. The dress I’ve always pictured in my head has always been a halter neck with a very low draping back and a softly flared skirt with nothing more than a brush train if it has one at all. I did however manage to find quite a few dresses online that I absolutely adore.

I’ve always wanted to do both a ceremony and a reception dress. It just seems like it would be a lot easier to mingle with guests and actually have fun in a shorter, lighter-weight dress.

These are my most indulgent picks. The one on the left is Monique Lhuillier’s Danielle. I adore the reembroidered lace, the v-neck and the empire waist. It has such clean lines and lets the pattern of the lace shine through. The second is Badley Mischka’s Paola and the only strapless dress that I like. Again, it seems very simple and I love the way the fabric drapes from the neckline.

These next two are a little fussier than I would usually go for but I love them anyway. The first is Claire Pettibone’s Laurel. My favourite features of this dress are the wider straps and the straight look of the skirt. I like it so much I can ignore the beading and the embellishments which would usually turn me off. The next is #1332 from Demtrios’ Ultra Sophisticates line. Finally, a dress featuring a dropped waist with a halter and endless yards of Alencon lace. I would not usually be a fan of the sheer midsection but all of that lace captured my ridiculously girly heart.

Again, not exactly what I would usually go for but still… Liancarlo’s 3805 features STILL MORE Alencon lace and a low v-back but has that silly longer train. Then finally, there’s a lovely, flowing empire-waisted sheath by Christos but I’m still figuring out whether I like the wavy straps (I think I do).

For reception dresses, I’ve been looking at Etsy, a great online marketplace where designers sell their own works.

The first one is from hollystalder — it has a lovely piece of old lace at the neckline and a row of pearls — just my style! The second is a little more fun and comes from kt_jean. She buys up vintage slips and lingerie and upcycles them in dresses — you give her the features that you like and she creates a custommade dress for you.

Then again, me being me, I could totally see myself trying to pull this off. It’s a ballet skirt made of yards upon yards of soft netting. I’d probably pair it with a delicate cami and ropes of pearls. Actually, I’d want all of my jewelry to be pearls or some sort of semi-precious stone depending on the dress and colour. For a halter dress, just pearl drop earrings and maybe a bracelet. I don’t want to go overboard.

Then of course there’s the issue of shoes. Something comfortable, something cute, not too high of a heel. Those are my only requirements. And for the reception, I’d be seriously tempted to change into All-Stars.

Since I’m more into fashion than anything else, let’s skip straight to the hair and everything else.

Hair-wise, I’m really not into extravagant styles that only look good when they’re still immaculate. My hair has a mind of it’s own and refuses to mind anyone except Troy (and even that’s iffy).

All of my objections about styles aside, I really do like these. Obviously, the first one would be the easiest to do with my hair. Blow it curly, pin up random pieces and leave some height at the crown. I’d definitely want to trade the bling out for a fresh flower or find a way to make my hair look like it was woven with pearls though. The second one just goes along with my obsession with old school starlet style. It makes me want to cut all my hair off and actually do that to myself every morning. Third, just a classic back-do and lovely.

These are pretty self-explanatory, I think. I doubt I’d use something quite that sparkly or princessy for a headband but it would be easy with my hair. I’m really into the middle one though — it seems like it would be a nice contrast with the dresses I like.

Make-up wise, I’d want to keep it simple as well. A lightly luminous tinted moisturizer, maybe a touch of gel blush, a touch of matte lipstick with lots of rose salve as a gloss, a sweep of eyeshadow in a light, slightly shimmery shade just to open up the eye area and mascara. Beautifully manicured hands with just a clear gloss of a pinky-nude polish.

For Jesse? I honestly don’t care much. He wants to wear a kilt and that’s fine with me but my only thing is that he not pretend to be Scottish and part of a specific clan if anyone asks. So yeah, a kilt is fine with me. A tuxedo is absolutely fine with me as long as it’s non-traditional and includes a flat rather than a bow tie. If he wanted to go white tie with a top hat, that’d be fine but it really doesn’t matter. I admit, I have a slight soft spot for Mandarin-collared tuxedo jackets but it’s not a requirement. The only thing I care about is that his hair is long enough to be curly. Otherwise, Jesse you’re off the hook!

For bridesmaids (if I even have any), I know I like tea-length dresses and wouldn’t want anything ridiculous-looking. I could totally see telling my bridesmaids just to wear a black (or another colour) dress that is close to tea-length, leaving the choice up to them. Style-wise, I’m sort of partial to both of these. V-necks tend to be universally flattering and it stays away from the strapless-trend.

Hair and make-up? Again, natural and light, nothing heavy. I think a nice strappy sandal would work well with both of those. For jewelry, I’d probably still try to stick with pearls (probably as part of a bridesmaid gift).

Again, I don’t care what Jesse’s attendants wear as long as they’re not in jeans or hoodies. I’d like to stay away from the colour-coordinated vests and bow ties though. If they just wanted to do standard suits rather than tuxedos that’s just fine and would probably cut down on the expense.

I’ve never been much on the idea of kids in weddings although there are enough young cousins that I was thinking it would be really cute to have them blowing bubbles on our way out of the ceremony or something like that. I’ve always loved the look of bubbles at weddings and that would actually be something that might be fun for them while standing up during the ceremony probably wouldn’t be.

Wow! I talk about fashion WAYYYYY too much. From reading wedding planning websites, I’m learning that I’ve only brushed the very tip of this ridiculous iceberg.

The first thing that seems like a good thing to choose is the location. Obviously, my ideal location is overseas but I think the only way we could pull that off is if we had an extremely small ceremony (like, parents, grandparents and tiny wedding party) and then threw a big reception for family and friends back in the USA. Unless, of course, we strike it rich — I’m crossing my fingers but not holding my breath. Other than that, I could be happy with quite a few locations. Somewhere in Wyoming, Colorado, Utah or Alaska, with the mountains as a backdrop, at a country club or bed & breakfast would be lovely (and probably my first choice). So would a funky museum somewhere (the Asia Society museum in NYC would be AWESOME). Or I could definitely see doing a botanical garden or a park. I don’t really want to do the huge hall thing and I really don’t want to do a church. It just seems silly — neither of us are religious at all.

Apparently the next thing to choose is a theme and “your colours”. I don’t really want a theme unless it was inspired by a country or region: Provencale (with the colours and patterns, lavender and sunflowers), Greece (with lots of blues, whites and touches of green), Japan (minimalistic with cherry blossoms and lots of curves to represent the Zen gardens). Colour-wise, the only thing I know is that I want the whites to be more of a cream or ivory and that I’d like to keep a smaller colour palette (so I’m definitely not look at a Rainbow Brite wedding).

It only seems natural after going through the colours and theme that I have to think about flowers. Is it too much of a cop out to say that I have no idea what I want except I know I don’t want roses. At least, I don’t want endless roses. They’re lovely but they’re just SO predictable. I adore sunflowers, ivy, tigerlillies, hydrangea, cherry blossoms, iris and tulips. Flowers are just one of those things that would depend on a lot of other factors — everything from the season to the location to the tone of the whole affair. These, however, are some that have caught my eye.

So, I don’t really think I’m into the whole floral centerpiece thing but, if it fit with everything else, I could see using ivy and bouquets of greenery and ferns in vases with clear crystal balls to decorate tables. I don’t know, I just adore those green bouquets — they’re so interesting!

Yikes! So, now that I’ve done a few of the things that I care less about, I’m going to return to something that DOES interest me: CAKE. I want wedding cupcakes. I almost care about this more than anything else. I want cupcakes rather than a cake.

They can either be topped with a more traditional cake if we wanted to do a real cake cutting or a floral arrangement or something else. I’m not really sold on either idea. I just think cupcakes are so much more fun than slices of cake. Multiple flavours (something exotic like lemon and lavender, vanilla filled with raspberry or strawberry, probably a chocolate espresso) all beautifully frosted — it’s actually kind of selling me on the Japanese theme as I think cupcakes with sugary sakura blossoms would be to die for although a sunflower or lavender motif would be pretty as well.

Food-wise, I’d really prefer to do a buffet, tapas bar or something like that rather than a full sit-down meal. It seems like such a hassle to figure out menu that has an option for everyone and then to get them to decide on their option by the caterer’s deadline. With a wider assortment of things, it’s more likely that everyone will find something. I’d like to have a range from very traditional, blander to items to exotic, spicy things as well as a sushi bar. Lots of fresh fruit, a few different salad options. Some meat (probably just chicken and fish) but a lot of vegetarian and vegan options.

I don’t like the idea of an full open bar because I just don’t want people drinking that much but I would probably want to have several wines to choose from, champagne, a few different types of beer and a signature cocktail (probably a pear mojito or something else light and fresh).

I’m not really into the idea of having a DJ, especially as my dream has been to have a string quartet at my wedding. Frequently you can hire music grad students to play, sometimes a vocalist, and they’re rumoured to do a great job. I could, however, be talked into some more current music at the reception. I just don’t want the whole thing to turn into a dance floor for the whole evening. If anything, I’d rather hire a dance instructor and have people waltzing rather than the club dancing I’ve seen at too many weddings. So, mostly classical and jazz in an attempt to keep things classy.

I don’t particularly care about invitations. I mean, I’d like them to look nice, maybe on handmade paper pressed with flower petals. I don’t really get the need for programs for a non-church wedding but would probably do it anyway as people seem to like keeping them — if we had a summer wedding, I’d like to get the program printed on fold-up fans for people to keep. For favours, I’d ideally like to do the program fans and a set of DIY wineglass markers (rings with beads or whatever else to decorate them) for each guest. Except the kids, of course. For any kids I was thinking of something like a rice paper lantern, nicely decorated, that they could have in their rooms. I don’t know, I’m probably being silly with that. It might just be better to do a charitable donation.

Anyway, I’m sure there are oodles of things that I’m missing (feel free to mention them) but the day is drawing to a close and I have to start focusing on what still needs to be done today. I have to run to the bank and deposit my check, then it’s off to the airport to pick up Jesse’s mom. Then, hopefully, we’ll be able to hit The Cupcakery to buy a few for her birthday. If not we’ll run home and pick up Mike and head out for sushi. Saturday looks like it’s going to be our day on the Strip, complete with tickets to Penn & Teller if we can get them. Sunday may be the night of the dinner party so I may be doing a lot of cooking (look out, Schizodigestive readers)!

Also, guys? WE ARE SERIOUSLY NOT GETTING MARRIED. I promise. No wedding bells, no nothing. Today, being a slow day at work seemed like a good day to write up a requested post.